What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
