Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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