Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
