Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
