Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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