You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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