She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
