this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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