you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
