I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
