I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize