Duck Duck Cougar?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
