I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize