According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
