Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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