I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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