Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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