Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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