he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
