ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
