2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
