hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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