Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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