Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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