Define "chronic" masturbator.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
