Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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