My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
