Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
