We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
