I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
