This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
