the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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