It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
