Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
