My friends, they love my intelligence
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
