Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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