This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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