So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
