Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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