I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
