playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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