i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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