mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He felt like a one man threesome
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize