I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
