I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
