It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
