her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
