He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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