I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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