There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
