I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
