he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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