You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Randomize
