Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
