I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
