Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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