We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
