ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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