Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
