how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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