i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
