we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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