So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
