You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
