you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize