Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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