Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
